Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Yes Virginia, There IS Such a Thing as Closure!

Relationships. One of the necessities of human social life. Without relationships of some sort, humans are really nothing at all. Relationships help define who each one of us is and how we live. At least, that's my take on the matter. One simply cannot be an adult and never had a broken or changed relationship- be it friendship or romantic. It's just part of adulthood. Sure, we deal with it as adolescents and children, but typically then there is a lack of maturity in how we actually handle the lost relationship.

That lack of maturity can linger into adulthood.. and far too long into adulthood.


Relationship closure is defined as the point where all of the final emotional "loose ends" have been tied up to one's satisfaction, and there is no remaining "unfinished emotional business" that needs to take care of before moving on with their life. It's that pesky "emotional business" that many people experiencing changes in relationships have a difficult time in dealing with.

I am a major poster child for that last statement. Over the course of my life I've had so many relationships that evolved from one aspect to another. Some at my bidding, many at the bidding of others.

I have rarely handled these well without time healing the emotional wounds. Maybe I took the change in the relationship too personally- maybe I just wasn't ready to let go- maybe I didn't' want to be shoved out of my comfort zone.

Who knows. All I know is I've pretty much had a horrible time dealing with closure in a relationship that time didn't solve for me.

That is, until now.

I realized this morning what peace and tranquility comes from finding the closure on your own. Not allowing time to heal the wounds - because I've realized that even with time, some wounds may appear healed, but one little innocuous form of communication can change all of that.

You'll notice that I keep refering to relationship change and closure about the previous relationship. I say that for a reason. Each time one forges a relationship, regardless of type, the relationship remains in some form or another within you. it just does. so the closure I'm refering to is coming to terms with the change in the type of relationship.

So, with regards to a particular recent change in relationship, I can proudly and happily say- Closure- I haz it. Thank you for listening and understanding. You know who you are.

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