Saturday, November 21, 2009

Bull Roast - it's a Maryland Thang

Anyone who's ever spent any time in Maryland has heard of these things. They're fundraisers for organizations. They serve DELISH foods and are a GREAT time.

A couple of us are going to one tonight for another friend's school. The last time the three of us got together, it was a complete blast. Dancin' and having a good ole time.

We're going to do that tonight too.

Before hand, though- we're going to ESPN zone to chillax.

Watch out Baltimore- we're on the loose again. Watch out facebook- more fun pics from the three of us!


Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Yes Virginia, There IS Such a Thing as Closure!

Relationships. One of the necessities of human social life. Without relationships of some sort, humans are really nothing at all. Relationships help define who each one of us is and how we live. At least, that's my take on the matter. One simply cannot be an adult and never had a broken or changed relationship- be it friendship or romantic. It's just part of adulthood. Sure, we deal with it as adolescents and children, but typically then there is a lack of maturity in how we actually handle the lost relationship.

That lack of maturity can linger into adulthood.. and far too long into adulthood.

Relationship closure is defined as the point where all of the final emotional "loose ends" have been tied up to one's satisfaction, and there is no remaining "unfinished emotional business" that needs to take care of before moving on with their life. It's that pesky "emotional business" that many people experiencing changes in relationships have a difficult time in dealing with.

I am a major poster child for that last statement. Over the course of my life I've had so many relationships that evolved from one aspect to another. Some at my bidding, many at the bidding of others.

I have rarely handled these well without time healing the emotional wounds. Maybe I took the change in the relationship too personally- maybe I just wasn't ready to let go- maybe I didn't' want to be shoved out of my comfort zone.

Who knows. All I know is I've pretty much had a horrible time dealing with closure in a relationship that time didn't solve for me.

That is, until now.

I realized this morning what peace and tranquility comes from finding the closure on your own. Not allowing time to heal the wounds - because I've realized that even with time, some wounds may appear healed, but one little innocuous form of communication can change all of that.

You'll notice that I keep refering to relationship change and closure about the previous relationship. I say that for a reason. Each time one forges a relationship, regardless of type, the relationship remains in some form or another within you. it just does. so the closure I'm refering to is coming to terms with the change in the type of relationship.

So, with regards to a particular recent change in relationship, I can proudly and happily say- Closure- I haz it. Thank you for listening and understanding. You know who you are.

Thursday, November 12, 2009

Thank You To All Veterans!

I know- I'm late to the game

but thank you to all who have served in the service and have helped make the world a bit safer.

y'all have my admiration.

Monday, November 9, 2009

Awakening and Rediscovery

One of the reasons I started blogging was as a catharsis. I felt as though I was taking too much advantage of friends by overusing them for emotional support. When something's eating at me, I need to get it out to figure out exactly what it is that's bothering me, so I can move on. In spite of words to the contrary, no one ever wants to be long time friends with a Debbie or Dougie Downer. Sure- friends are there to help you through emotional times, but dang, they're not there to be your emotional lifeline! So by blogging, peeps can read at their leisure instead of me calling, texting, emailing, etc, my drama to them. Gee what a considerate friend I am. Ain't I?

Now.. I have had some major time drama in the past 15 months. Sure, not as emotional as it was 18 years ago when I lost my daughter, but for this stage of my life, it's been a pretty rough row to hoe.

So many adages have applied in these 15 months

Life goes on

Things happen for a reason

Whatever is to be will be

Anger is like a hot coal- the longer you hold on to it, the more damage it causes (or the actual Buddha quote "Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one getting burned. ")

(substitute your "look at the bright side" adage here)

Anyone who truly knows me, knows that even when faced with adversity and hurt, after the initial shock has hit, I try to look for the positive of the situation. It's just my nature I guess.

So- when faced with some revelations that came to light in the past week (coupled with events of 15 months ago), I looked for what good can come from this.

As Semisonic sang in "Closing Time" - "Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end."

How true that really is. Stop and think about it. Who knew a song had lyrics with actual meaning?? who knew!!!

Each time something "ends" - it is an opportunity to begin anew. Forge new ground. Test the waters outside of your comfort zone. Get back up on that horse and try again.. yada yada.

That's what I'm doing right now... and for the first time in 15 months I truly feel free to do just that. Begin anew and concentrate on what truly makes me, Marie, happy.

To those who pushed me out of the nest, I do have to say thank you. I really do. In spite of the hurt, I realize that it is for the better and that if it hadn't occured, I would have passed on a great opportunity and future ones. Again- thank you. Y'all know who you are.

Thursday, November 5, 2009

Hey Guys- Yeah- Youse With the Y Chromosome- Listen and Learn

PSA to ALL, I mean ALL men out there:

Women are like phones. They like to be held and talked to. Push a wrong button and you'll be disconnected.

Think about it. I mean really think about it. Sure, it may be a joke one hears from a comedian, but in fact it is a very astute observation and analogy.

Women, as a whole, are very loving and caring creatures. This means that we have hearts and feelings. Yes, yes, yes, we do. We can only take so much before the damage is irreparable.

Sometimes if the man doesn't pay attention to what is right in front of him, he may lose one of the best things he ever had. No matter how the man used to make the woman feel. Pushing that wrong button may just push her out of his life.

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Yay- It's Election Day!

Yay- the plethora of signs that riddle the sides of the roads, the polling places, the intersections, etc should be coming down tomorrow.

In case you're blissfully unaware - today is election day and across the Old Dominion, we are electing our Governor, Lt Governor and Attorney General. Unlike most states, we Virginians get to vote for a candidate in each office. It is possible to have a Governor be in a different party than the Lt. Governor because of it. I love this state.

This apparently is a Gubernatorial race with national implications. Heck, 10 days ago, the front page of a newspaper blared "Obama Supports Deeds" - who knew??? Shocking- a Democrat in office throwing his support for a Democrat running for office.. that never happens, does it? wow.. a first. Certainly had to be a first if it warranted a front page headline, no? If the polls are any indication, the state house in Richmond could change party hands after this election, regardless of Obama's support. To be honest, to me, it's the same circus different clowns. Eventually their term is up and we have new clowns clamoring to enter office. Bully for them.

Virginia is one of the most beautiful in the fall. The turning of the leaves are a spectacular sight to behold. Big elections such as the one we're in right now and last year's Presidential elections tend to mar that beauty slightly. Those unseemly signs which appear to get bigger and bigger with each election.

Here's hoping that the peeps that were gung-ho enough to put up the signs show the same enthusiasm and zeal and timeliness in taking them down. Let the rest of us enjoy the beauty of our wonderful state!

Monday, November 2, 2009

Facebook- It's a Beautiful Thing

I'm a very social person - although I do enjoy my quiet time as well. Throughout my childhood - into teen hood- into adulthood- I could always be found with people. Socializing, laughing, playing, and just having a good time.

Even though my graduating class from high school had 494 of us, I was pretty close with many people in there. Yeah- I was a band geek and to make matters worse, I was also a book geek. So those were the peeps I were closest too. Yanno- we had so much in common. Playing cards in the SAC (pack rat that I am, I still have all of my passes for SAC- yeah- I'm odd) - marching band - sax quartet- stage band, yada yada the list goes on.

I was friends with people in the class before and after me as well. Graduation is typically termed "Commencement Ceremonies". Until you've actually lived through the event and resulting decisions, it's hard to fully comprehend what that means. Commencement means to start something new. A new chapter in your life, if you will.

Unfortunately for me, starting that new chapter resulted in an erosion of friendships that I had in high school. As social as I am- I've never been one to just pick up the phone and call someone out of the blue. Especially when I was a college kid - fixed income- and a 10 minute phone call was about $5.00. Not to mention that we had to keep up with phone numbers. Then - after graduating college- what weak ties I had, were severed further in the move and commencement of my job.

So- I made new friends and still continued to be the social butterfly that I am. I always went to the reunions and reconnected- but even then- it was difficult to keep the connections. Email just didn't work. Phones just didn't work...

Then- a beautiful thing happened- the advent of the social networking medium known as facebook. I joined it in its infancy when I was in grad school. That was before just "anyone" could join. Now- I'm glad they opened it up to more than just students, because - man alive- it's really great for reconnecting.

I lost touch with cousins over the years. Through facebook, I've reconnected with my cousins from the Buffalo area. In fact, I never really knew my cousin Jennifer all that well as she's 12 years younger and lived over 3 hours away. Now, we're pretty good friends and when I went to visit her this July, I was fortunate enough to meet the gentleman that is her future husband. She's a great confidante and I'm so glad I reconnected with her. I am also glad I reconnected with my other "Buffalo" cousins. I also reconnected with other family members and family members of friends.

I've also reconnected with many high school friends. Some I found- some found me. Heck, on facebook, it's almost like we're back in high school with the banter and juvenile antics. Through facebook, I've been able to connect with wonderful people that I never really knew in high school, but since we have that common bond, we've become facebook friends and banter back and forth. I was fortunate enough to be able to attend the class of '79's reunion this summer even though that wasn't my class. Made even more friends than I had before. If I attempt to name anyone, I'll inadvertently slight someone, so y'all know who you are.. and some of us are planning trips together (to Philly, to Fla, etc).

One of the best finds I had on facebook was my BFF from high school, Reenie. Now that we've reconnected, it's like we've never been apart. We talk about everything and anything and help each other out through difficult times. Even though she lives in Peru now, it's like we're back in high school and talk on almost a daily basis. I *am* going to get down to visit her sometime and do a trek on the Inca trail. Awesome trip with an awesome friend.

Yeah, facebook is good for those games - some I play, like Mafia Wars or Slots. Some I'm just too stupid to get, like Farmville, Pet Society, Mob Wars, etc. Facebook is also good for putting photos out there for your friends to see when they wish to.

I am a facebook fanatic, mostly due to the good it's brought me in reconnected friends and the forging of new friendships. It's the perfect mechanism for me to maintain friendships. Sure, there are some that will require the phone for contact, but the limited number are easier to handle now.

So- here's to you, my facebook friends - I'm glad we have this means to keep in touch with one another, and for some, to get to know each other better.