Awakening and Rediscovery

One of the reasons I started blogging was as a catharsis. I felt as though I was taking too much advantage of friends by overusing them for emotional support. When something's eating at me, I need to get it out to figure out exactly what it is that's bothering me, so I can move on. In spite of words to the contrary, no one ever wants to be long time friends with a Debbie or Dougie Downer. Sure- friends are there to help you through emotional times, but dang, they're not there to be your emotional lifeline! So by blogging, peeps can read at their leisure instead of me calling, texting, emailing, etc, my drama to them. Gee what a considerate friend I am. Ain't I?

Now.. I have had some major time drama in the past 15 months. Sure, not as emotional as it was 18 years ago when I lost my daughter, but for this stage of my life, it's been a pretty rough row to hoe.

So many adages have applied in these 15 months

Life goes on

Things happen for a reason

Whatever is to be will be

Anger is like a hot coal- the longer you hold on to it, the more damage it causes (or the actual Buddha quote "Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one getting burned. ")

(substitute your "look at the bright side" adage here)

Anyone who truly knows me, knows that even when faced with adversity and hurt, after the initial shock has hit, I try to look for the positive of the situation. It's just my nature I guess.

So- when faced with some revelations that came to light in the past week (coupled with events of 15 months ago), I looked for what good can come from this.

As Semisonic sang in "Closing Time" - "Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end."

How true that really is. Stop and think about it. Who knew a song had lyrics with actual meaning?? who knew!!!

Each time something "ends" - it is an opportunity to begin anew. Forge new ground. Test the waters outside of your comfort zone. Get back up on that horse and try again.. yada yada.

That's what I'm doing right now... and for the first time in 15 months I truly feel free to do just that. Begin anew and concentrate on what truly makes me, Marie, happy.

To those who pushed me out of the nest, I do have to say thank you. I really do. In spite of the hurt, I realize that it is for the better and that if it hadn't occured, I would have passed on a great opportunity and future ones. Again- thank you. Y'all know who you are.