Later 2009. Like a Fine Wine, You've Been a Good Year.

Wow- what a year

I won't be like others and say - I'm so glad this year is over. The new year, 2010, has a hard act to follow. The year 2009 actually been a pretty good year and it's been pretty good to me.

Let's see. Highlights include

Reaching a quarter, eep- yes quarter - century at the work place. wow- did I start working when I was 12?
My eldest reached legal drinking age
My second son getting his driver's license - and havin' swimmers eat his bubbles in the water- wowswers
My elder daughter starting high school- making JV basketball team - and surpassing me in height
My younger daughter starting middle school- GREAT grades - and almost my height
Reconnected with many cousins of mine
Visited said cousins (save one - whom I am going to visit in 2010- promise, Ro)
Attending an HHS class reunion and met up with friends whom I haven't seen in years- and made some new ones
Completed my first century ride

overall- 2009 has been a great year of discovery for me. I've learned a great deal about myself and am finding myself ending this year in a very happy place. New friendships have been forged that will last a very long time. I am fortunate to have met some wonderful people. At the same time, I have been saddened by the loss of some friendships - some I know the reasons for, and some I do not- the losses still sadden me- but I'm learning from the loss.

Upcoming in 2010

my high school reunion
the start of my second son's final HS year
more century rides

just to name what I can think of at the moment.

who really knows for sure at the beginning of the year, what is truly in store? All I know is that 2009 is ending on a good note and that is carrying forward into 2010.

Happy New Year, everyone!

I Just Can't Believe It's December Already!

Wow

This has really snuck up on me. I love the Christmas holiday season. Really love it. Decorating the house. Making goodies. Crafting. Decorating the office. Wearing the Christmas clothes and jewelry.

Why am I just not feeling it this year?

Perhaps because Thanksgiving was so late? Perhaps because I wasn't around for the day after Thanksgiving when I typically decorate? Perhaps because of other things concerning the house?

I just do.not.know.. and it's bugging me.

I am committed to at least decorating the house this weekend. Sunday that is. Saturday is being spent with a special someone and the evening is being spent dancin' the night away- with C - yet again! So- according to my busy calendar- Sunday looks like the first available opportunity

hey- that's it, kids.. that's why the house isn't decorated and I'm not feeling it.. I'm just too busy doing other stuff!

Happy holidays!

Bull Roast - it's a Maryland Thang

Anyone who's ever spent any time in Maryland has heard of these things. They're fundraisers for organizations. They serve DELISH foods and are a GREAT time.

A couple of us are going to one tonight for another friend's school. The last time the three of us got together, it was a complete blast. Dancin' and having a good ole time.

We're going to do that tonight too.

Before hand, though- we're going to ESPN zone to chillax.

Watch out Baltimore- we're on the loose again. Watch out facebook- more fun pics from the three of us!

woot!

Yes Virginia, There IS Such a Thing as Closure!

Relationships. One of the necessities of human social life. Without relationships of some sort, humans are really nothing at all. Relationships help define who each one of us is and how we live. At least, that's my take on the matter. One simply cannot be an adult and never had a broken or changed relationship- be it friendship or romantic. It's just part of adulthood. Sure, we deal with it as adolescents and children, but typically then there is a lack of maturity in how we actually handle the lost relationship.

That lack of maturity can linger into adulthood.. and far too long into adulthood.


Relationship closure is defined as the point where all of the final emotional "loose ends" have been tied up to one's satisfaction, and there is no remaining "unfinished emotional business" that needs to take care of before moving on with their life. It's that pesky "emotional business" that many people experiencing changes in relationships have a difficult time in dealing with.

I am a major poster child for that last statement. Over the course of my life I've had so many relationships that evolved from one aspect to another. Some at my bidding, many at the bidding of others.

I have rarely handled these well without time healing the emotional wounds. Maybe I took the change in the relationship too personally- maybe I just wasn't ready to let go- maybe I didn't' want to be shoved out of my comfort zone.

Who knows. All I know is I've pretty much had a horrible time dealing with closure in a relationship that time didn't solve for me.

That is, until now.

I realized this morning what peace and tranquility comes from finding the closure on your own. Not allowing time to heal the wounds - because I've realized that even with time, some wounds may appear healed, but one little innocuous form of communication can change all of that.

You'll notice that I keep refering to relationship change and closure about the previous relationship. I say that for a reason. Each time one forges a relationship, regardless of type, the relationship remains in some form or another within you. it just does. so the closure I'm refering to is coming to terms with the change in the type of relationship.

So, with regards to a particular recent change in relationship, I can proudly and happily say- Closure- I haz it. Thank you for listening and understanding. You know who you are.

Thank You To All Veterans!

I know- I'm late to the game

but thank you to all who have served in the service and have helped make the world a bit safer.

y'all have my admiration.

Awakening and Rediscovery

One of the reasons I started blogging was as a catharsis. I felt as though I was taking too much advantage of friends by overusing them for emotional support. When something's eating at me, I need to get it out to figure out exactly what it is that's bothering me, so I can move on. In spite of words to the contrary, no one ever wants to be long time friends with a Debbie or Dougie Downer. Sure- friends are there to help you through emotional times, but dang, they're not there to be your emotional lifeline! So by blogging, peeps can read at their leisure instead of me calling, texting, emailing, etc, my drama to them. Gee what a considerate friend I am. Ain't I?

Now.. I have had some major time drama in the past 15 months. Sure, not as emotional as it was 18 years ago when I lost my daughter, but for this stage of my life, it's been a pretty rough row to hoe.

So many adages have applied in these 15 months

Life goes on

Things happen for a reason

Whatever is to be will be

Anger is like a hot coal- the longer you hold on to it, the more damage it causes (or the actual Buddha quote "Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one getting burned. ")

(substitute your "look at the bright side" adage here)

Anyone who truly knows me, knows that even when faced with adversity and hurt, after the initial shock has hit, I try to look for the positive of the situation. It's just my nature I guess.

So- when faced with some revelations that came to light in the past week (coupled with events of 15 months ago), I looked for what good can come from this.

As Semisonic sang in "Closing Time" - "Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end."

How true that really is. Stop and think about it. Who knew a song had lyrics with actual meaning?? who knew!!!

Each time something "ends" - it is an opportunity to begin anew. Forge new ground. Test the waters outside of your comfort zone. Get back up on that horse and try again.. yada yada.

That's what I'm doing right now... and for the first time in 15 months I truly feel free to do just that. Begin anew and concentrate on what truly makes me, Marie, happy.

To those who pushed me out of the nest, I do have to say thank you. I really do. In spite of the hurt, I realize that it is for the better and that if it hadn't occured, I would have passed on a great opportunity and future ones. Again- thank you. Y'all know who you are.

Hey Guys- Yeah- Youse With the Y Chromosome- Listen and Learn

PSA to ALL, I mean ALL men out there:

Women are like phones. They like to be held and talked to. Push a wrong button and you'll be disconnected.

Think about it. I mean really think about it. Sure, it may be a joke one hears from a comedian, but in fact it is a very astute observation and analogy.

Women, as a whole, are very loving and caring creatures. This means that we have hearts and feelings. Yes, yes, yes, we do. We can only take so much before the damage is irreparable.

Sometimes if the man doesn't pay attention to what is right in front of him, he may lose one of the best things he ever had. No matter how the man used to make the woman feel. Pushing that wrong button may just push her out of his life.